I haven’t had a donut in 77 days…

So I am 77 days OP. 77 days clean. Sober. There isn’t really a list of things for me to say I haven’t had in 77 days. When you overeat it doesn’t work quite the same as saying I haven’t had a drink. Here is what I can tell you. Since joining weight watchers on December 14, 2012, I haven’t eaten over my point allowance in any week. Not once. I’ve had some tough days in which I didn’t make the best choices. I’m still learning that part. Like 1oz of cheez-its is hardly worth it and really just a trigger for me. I haven’t had much ice cream, but there was that one day. I still crave sweets and potato chips and french fries and a whole lot of bad shit. I mostly don’t eat it. Mostly.

So what I can say is that I haven’t had a donut in 77 days. Not one. Some days I wonder if I’ll ever eat a donut again. I wish losing weight was as easy as just giving things up. Maybe you’re lenting something right now. 40 days without whatever, and once you get there, it really wasn’t so bad right? Well I am perpetually lenting…but not food. I haven’t had a donut in 77 days, but that isn’t what is going to get me to my weight goal or keep me there. What I have to give up is the fear, doubt, negative self talk, feelings of inadequacies. That is what is really at stake here. Donut schmonut, a fried piece of dough covered in a sugar glaze has no power over me. Some days it feels like it, like chocolate is the new God, but really it’s just chocolate.

So I can’t say I haven’t had one bad thought about myself in 77 days, or felt like a failure, or unattractive or unloveable. I have and worse. But in those 77 days I haven’t turned to food in excess to solve a problem hunger didn’t cause. What do the say, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master something…77 days ain’t even close. But I’m in training…training for my life.

Thanks for reading.

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